Judging

I don’t know for sure, and it’s none of my business, but other people probably don’t judge me as much as I judge myself.

How sad is that?

I should be the one approving me, especially if no one else is. Who can I count on if not myself?

So, I wonder if I was less judgmental of myself, would I think less about what others think, and not believe that others are judging me?

It is an experiment that I believe is worth a try. Whatever takes the pressure off, right?

Since I’ve become a mom I am very interested in bettering myself so that hopefully my bad habits, self-deprecating nature and overwhelming self-doubt don’t get passed down to my son.

I want him to believe in himself.

I want him to know that he is of value, without question.

I want him to feel capable to use the gifts that he’s been given.

For me the self-doubt game has been exhausting, gone on way too long, and all around just sucks. It is not an arena that I want him to enter, if I can help it.

I don’t want him to judge himself, but I also don’t want him to judge others.

My hope is that he will be compassionate. I hope that he will be humble, and giving.

Some random thoughts for today…

What do you think? 🙂

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Real

So okay, let me be more real and vulnerable. To really share, you must be willing to put yourself out there, right?

I have been so afraid of being laughed at, rejected, criticized, and misunderstood for my whole life…as long as I can remember!

Even sharing that feels uncomfortable and like I’m sharing too much. The tape in my head says “nobody cares, nobody wants to hear what you have to say, you have nothing to say”.

If that were true, why would I still want to be a writer SO bad?

If that were true, why would one of my girlfriends be so excited that I actually started blogging?

I might still believe that old tape that plays. That tape that gets the best of me some days. That tape that makes me feel sick to my stomach.

But I am doing things in spite of that tape now. Take that tape! I can do whatever I want!!

So now that I got that out…you know the craziness that goes on in my head. That is some of what I will share here.

It’s not always like that 😉

Thanks for listening.

Work in progress

I am working on many things right now. Really I feel like I am always working on myself, but this effort feels different.

I have a goal this time.

Many goals actually. And that is why it’s different. I have a destination that I am trying to reach, and an outline of a path to get there. I’ve never had a plan to reach my goal. I’ve never had such a clear vision of where I want my life to go. I’ve never had the tools to get there.

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Another cool thing is that I know it’s a journey, because when I reach my goal I know I will have a new one to set in its place.

The other wonderful part about all of this is the support.

My husband is awesome at the support game, and always has been. I have family that is always there and friends that have my back.

The difference this time is that I have an ocean of people who are chasing the same goal as me.

I have a community this time.

This community is teaching me, answering my questions, hearing my frustrations and always cheering me on.

What a blessing it is to have found this. What is “this” you ask?

Young Living.

I started out trying to find a natural way to deal with my anxiety and other emotional issues that I was going through.

What I found is so much more.

I’m going to share more in another post about why I needed help with anxiety and emotions. If you have any questions, please reach out to me. I would love to share with you.

 

Jumping In

It’s time to jump in and get this blog going!

Now that I’ve started learning more about building an essential oils business, and become a mom, I need a little space of my own to share, right?

Every once in a while we all need a place to share our thoughts, get some feelings off our chest and just be ourselves, dontcha think? Here’s my place. I hope you can relate, laugh, or learn with me!

Here’s a picture of our little cat, Tiny, just for fun 😉

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Tiny